FROM ME, THROUGH ME, FOR ME: I don’t have to prove anything anymore.

 

I don’t have to prove anything anymore.

Because I proved it already.

To myself.

I proved it to myself that I can choose me.

I proved it to myself, that I can stand being ridiculed, laughed at,

told that I am wrong,

that I am never gonna make it,

told that I don’t do enough,

told that I cannot have it my way.

I heard it all.

In my face, behind my back, in my head.

And I proved it to myself.

That I can let it in.

That I can let it hurt.

And even enjoy it.

Not because I am masochist.

But because I am human. Or having human experience. Both.

And I proved it to myself.

That I can shine.

That I can trust.

That I can love.

I chose me. And I stand in my power. Because this is my power.

I proved it to myself.

That I don’t do it because of money, because of fame, because of respect, because of love I craved from them.

I proved it to myself that I am doing it because of me.

And I can now enjoy money.

I can enjoy fame.

I can enjoy respect.

I can enjoy being loved.

Because I know who I am.

With or without it.

Amen.

“The world is sacred.” is the meaning of words on this bag. In sLOVEnian language. My first idea of what to put on a tote bag. I needed a few years to put it out. It felt intimate. I wasn’t sure if anyone else would understand. Than I made it for me, to let it out already. It’s one of the bestsellers now. If you feel it, you can buy this 3 Ptice tote bag here.

People love to send me money

This is what I wrote in my journal yesterday in the morning among other things: People love to send me money.

You see, in the time of my winter depression (or what should I call this beneficial state that gives you so much but it seems like a stagnation?) I asked myself. “What do I really really want?”

And I since I started reading, I knew I want to be a writer. But it felt like a dream that is not within reach. I mean, how can you make money writing? Especially, if you don’t want to write what someone else said you should write. Who tha fuck would pay you for sharing what is inside you? You cannot live from this.” But I decided I’m going for it anyway. Because I don’t want to die with a regret that I didn’t even try.

And back then in December, this amazing woman, who is following my journey, sent me 5€ to my paypal through my blog! I had that donation button there for months, but not a single € came through it. I was so fucking excited! It is possible, it is possible! I’m gonna make it happen!

But then I had to go through layers and layers of self doubt, past trauma, disappointments, everything. Lots of breathing, lots of crying, lots of healing and most amazing inner visions.

And now, about a month ago, I decided I’m going all in. That writing comes first. I love painting on the bags and I’m gonna continue doing it, because I freaking love it too! But sharing my inner world through writing is what makes me feel accomplished. When I write a blog post I feel like it was a good day, time well spent. I love this feeling!

If you noticed, I am writing to you much more often now. I write for myself a lot.

But there was a card I received from my Tarot. Stinginess. With a woman, who is holding her jewels for herself.

And it got me. This, my inner world, my writing, my visions, my allegories are my jewels and I have been holding them for myself.

And it made me realize, that I need to start sharing them with you.

And hopefully someday I will be able to pay my bills with this. However, I’m gonna write in any case, because genius zone is a basic need like Miha Pogačnik said.

But it’s getting closer and closer, in fact yesterday when I came from a coffee with an amazing woman (it’s like we have manifested each other), I checked my emails and I saw this:

 

Mojca sent me 10€ through my blog!! People love to send me money! It started happening! I was so grateful! I am still grateful. I will be forever grateful for this, divine yes!

I thanked her in my super excited manner and she said that she knows my birthday is coming and she meant to send me a book, but then she saw that I speak about almost the same things on the blog like they are written in that book… and she decided to send me money. Orgasmic! And I’m gonna read that book anyway! 😀

I am feeling it, yes, that I can live life on my terms and this way giving the best to others and others and Life giving the best to me! Woohoo!

Do you want this too?

Ask yourself: What do I really want?

Write it down.

And then do something about it.

IMPORTANT: My birthday is coming up, this Sunday is the day. Anniversary of me coming out of my mothers womb in the middle of the night. Through my mother to Mother Earth. I love having a birthday, I think you get it 😀 And I want to share my excitement with you by giving you discount on all of my products in my etsy shop. It’s 22% off. Why 22? Because 3 Ptice started when I was 22. And I had no idea back then, what going to the business will mean to me. I had no idea how much joy and how much tears is going to be there. I didn’t have support from my family back then (they were disappointed and worried, because I left the university).  It was often really freaking hard. But here I am, almost 5 years later, knowing that if I could go back in time, I would do it all over again. Because it wasn’t just business. It’s personal and spiritual growth, it’s the real life education, it is meeting the most amazing people, it’s is living a BIG LIFE.

So, 22% off you have if you use a code 22PERCENTOFF (how creative :P). It’s message to naive and enthusiastic 22 years old that still lives in me that yes, you are supported, by this big loving Mother Nature that will always give you exactly what you need for your growth and it will bring you the most amazing people to co-create this new world with. The world in which we can do what we love and get paid for it and live a life full of quality.

Click click to 3 Ptice Etsy shop.

And have the most amazing weekend! I love you and I am super grateful for all of you who ever bought something from me. You made real impact on a real person with buying something that you found beautiful. Thank you for getting what you want!

Anita

Let the woman be whatever she wants to be

She looks like a hooker. Woman should be a lady. Woman should be a warrior. It is about natural beauty. Real woman wears high heels. Feminists don’t wear high heels. She shows her body way too much, something should stay hidden.  She is all covered up. Oh, she is too tight. She could be a 10, if she would change this about her. She wears too much make-up. Oh, she doesn’t wear any make-up, she would be so much prettier with some make-up. She is a bad mum. She is a good mum, but … She is too career driven. She is a bitch. She is a people pleaser. She is too manly, she is too feminine.

Oh my god, can we let the woman already be whatever she wants to be?

Can I let the woman in me already be whatever she wants to be?

Sometimes hooker, sometimes priest. (This song came to my mind)

Sometimes care-giver, sometimes selfish bitch,

sometimes good girl, sometimes bad,

sometimes all natural, sometimes with a lipstick,

sometimes with sneakers, sometimes with heels,

sometimes dramatical, sometimes calming…

And all in between.

Sometimes all together and nothing at the same time.

Whatever tha fuck I want to be. Whatever she wants to be. Whatever they want to be. Whatever you want to be.

It was a few years ago, when I listened to some song from Beyonce on youtube, I don’t remember which song, but there was this comment under it that clicked so much with me. I copied it and send it to my boyfriend. Unfortunately, I don’t know the author, but I think she or he wouldn’t mind if I share it here:

“…you are acting like singing about sex or shaking her ass degrades a woman. Creating boundaries and telling a woman what she should and shouldn’t do with her body or voice is was degrades women, as does slut-shaming, which is what you’re doing. Get off your high horse and respect women and their choices.”

By the way, I bought this book called Pussy last week. It’s life changing. If you are a woman, it’s a must read. Must read. I recommend it so much. My life is already better because of it. Funny thing is, that I wanted this book since September. Then I forgot about it and last week I took a walk and it just came to my mind, that I should check out Amazon, because the kindle version of book will cost me only around 3€ now. And so it was! Magic.You can still get it for $3.65. Click click. 

(This is an affiliate link which means I might receive few cents from Amazon, if you buy it).

srečko molk ring prstan

Srečko Molk wooden ring.

anita puksic 3 Ptice secondhand skirtnaj sosedova krava zivi nahrbtnik

I’m wearing: 3 Ptice backpack and bunny ear scrunchie; secondhand vintage skirt; H&M top (10 years old), Deichmann “allstars”; secondhand sunglasses

anita puksic 3 ptice borl haloze slovenia borl haloze slovenia

I am thinking about painting folloving statements on 3 Ptice tote bags:

“Not all of those who wander are lost.” -Tolkien

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.” -Rumi

“Be a light unto yourself.” -Buddha

If any of theses resonates with your soul and you want to preorder, drop me a message to anita.puksic@gmail.com

And feel free to check out what I have in store at 3ptice.etsy.com

Love, Anita

So you are pissed off?

So you are pissed off?

You are finally letting it out.

How wouldn’t you be pissed off?

You have a right to be pissed off.

You have tried everything, but nothing is working. Well, things do work, you have to admit that your life is so much better than it used to be.

They look at you and think of you as a success.

And you are. You achieved so much. You overcame so much. You are a new person.

Yet you still cannot fucking pay the bills.

Why is this keep on happening?

Keep on happening, keep on happening, keep on happening. It’s keep on happening, because it’s keep on happening.

It’s your story.

It’s your story. That you try everything, do everything, get all the possible results, yet still cannot pay the bills and shit.

“It feels like it’s just impossible to change this. It feels like I cannot change this. It feels like it’s a fact that I will always have everything I need to survive, but never enough money, like I will always lack here.”

What is the most hard thing about this situation?

  • I feel fake. Like all my successes and everything I do means nothing, because I cannot back it up with money. And this bothers me, because I want to share my message, yet I feel like people will ask, or even if they won’t ask anything, I don’t feel like I can contribute and really help them, because I didn’t figure it out either. I don’t want to pretend I know shit and that I can help and at the same time asking my grandpa if I can borrow money.
  • I have to ask people for help and I feel ashamed, because I still didn’t figured it out
  • That I’ve tried everything and really did the work and now I feel so stupid, that I still have hope and that I keep on going.

Fake. Ashamed. Stupid.

Naive. Pissed off.

*

What does authentic feel like?

It feels like I can feel whatever I feel and still love myself. It feels good in my body. It feels like I want to stretch and dance and celebrate.

Where have you have been authentic so far?

In my relationships, mostly. With being true to myself and doing what I want to do. With staying in my lane.

What being proud of yourself feels like?

Hm, it feels like it’s integrated in my being. It’s not like being proud and showing off, “Look at me, how important I am”. No, it feels like fun and joy. Playful. Like I know I have all these experiences under my belt already and I just know I can handle what’s next and have fun at it.

Where you already feel proud of yourself?

I am proud of my relationships. I am proud of all the work I did and so happy I have the results.

What are the results?

I feel free in my relationships with people. I feel love. I know I can express myself. I feel seen and heard. I see and hear other people. There’s no passive aggressive fights anymore. I can express my boundaries way better and people respect them. I used to feel lots of guilt, now there is love and compassion. I listen to myself and know way better when to say yes and when to say no.

What else you are proud of?

I am proud of mine persistence. I keep on going, even when it gets tough. I always get back up. And I am even not bitter about it, there is more and more lightness in this. Ha, interesting.

What do you feel like when you think about posting this?

I feel ashamed again. If I would post this it would be like I am attention seeker.

What’s wrong with this?

It’s like I am having it really bad, so that someone starts to feel guilty and then I get what I want. But it feels bitter.

Would you like this to be easier?

Fuck yes.

Would you like to have it really good, so that others naturally feel good around you and you get what I want with ease, because you also give what others want and you don’t even have to think much about this, even though you can, if you want to, but it’s just natural to you that you are who you are, you do what you do and this way you give your best and you receive the best in return?

Well fuck yes 😀

You got it. Now, can you post this knowing that you are going to help somebody with it? Knowing that you are not only one in the world who feels human emotions? There’s 7 milliards of people like you who know what all of these emotions feel like.

Well, I can post it…

What does the genius zone feel like?

It feels like I can live the life the way I want it to and everything just falls into place, because I put myself and my art first.

It feels like I have this board under my feet and I can fly through the air with it and do things with ease and fun and super fast even, if I want to. It’s like I have superpowers.

You do.

 

P.S.: You can get this hand stamped tote bag in my Etsy shop.

And if you have enough bags but want to give something bag, I mean back, to me, because I am so awesome and I share my gifts and talents with you, you can share this post with others. And you can also buy me a coffee or bananas for smoothies.  Click here to donate.

Fear of getting to the next level

Fear of getting to the next level

Tarot said PAST LIVES.

Confusing card for 11 years old, I guess. But she liked these cards more than sweet Angel Keys ones. Little witch <3.

“What was your question?” I asked. “If it’s not a secret.”

“Teacher tells us all the time that the 6th grade is going to be much harder. I asked if this is true.”

“Ah, I see. These PAST LIVES could mean past grades. It depends on the knowledge you acquired in the past grades, what the 6th grade is going to be like.”

*

When we are going to the next level in life, there usually comes fear.

In the school, the next level was the next grade. In life, the next level is a new job, new business, new relationship or the expansion of the old one. Bigger life, using more of your potential, expanding your comfort zone, sharing more of you. Whatever it is for you.

In the school, the reward, the sign that you are on a good way, the feedback is some grade. Number or a letter.

In life, the reward, the sign that you are on a good way, the feedback, is more joy, more peace, more love, more money, status. Whatever it is for you.

What if that teacher that still lives inside us and scare us about how hard the next level is going to be would change the tape and start saying to us:

OMG, you are doing so great!

You did a great work so far, aren’t you curious about what’s next?

Do you want to go to the next level? I warn you, you are going to have epic fun and meet amazing people and you are going to expand so much in terms of knowledge and joy and freedom and love! It’s gonna keep on getting better and better and you are going to have so much fun!

What if it could really be this easy?

life begins at the end of your comfort zone tote bag handpainted etsy

P.S.: I have one of these available as a cushion cover. Click here to get it. Or message me at anita.puksic@gmail.com