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Month: May 2017

FROM ME, THROUGH ME, FOR ME: I don’t have to prove anything anymore.

  I don’t have to prove anything anymore. Because I proved it already. To myself. I proved it to myself that I can choose me. I proved it to myself, that I can stand being ridiculed, laughed at, told that I am wrong, that I am never gonna make it, told that I don’t do enough, told that I cannot have it my way. I heard it all. In my face, behind my back, in my head. And I proved it to myself. That I can let it in. That I can let it hurt. And even enjoy it. Not…

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People love to send me money

This is what I wrote in my journal yesterday in the morning among other things: People love to send me money. You see, in the time of my winter depression (or what should I call this beneficial state that gives you so much but it seems like a stagnation?) I asked myself. “What do I really really want?” And I since I started reading, I knew I want to be a writer. But it felt like a dream that is not within reach. I mean, how can you make money writing? Especially, if you don’t want to write what someone…

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Let the woman be whatever she wants to be

She looks like a hooker. Woman should be a lady. Woman should be a warrior. It is about natural beauty. Real woman wears high heels. Feminists don’t wear high heels. She shows her body way too much, something should stay hidden.  She is all covered up. Oh, she is too tight. She could be a 10, if she would change this about her. She wears too much make-up. Oh, she doesn’t wear any make-up, she would be so much prettier with some make-up. She is a bad mum. She is a good mum, but … She is too career driven.…

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So you are pissed off?

So you are pissed off? You are finally letting it out. How wouldn’t you be pissed off? You have a right to be pissed off. You have tried everything, but nothing is working. Well, things do work, you have to admit that your life is so much better than it used to be. They look at you and think of you as a success. And you are. You achieved so much. You overcame so much. You are a new person. Yet you still cannot fucking pay the bills. Why is this keep on happening? Keep on happening, keep on happening,…

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Fear of getting to the next level

Tarot said PAST LIVES. Confusing card for 11 years old, I guess. But she liked these cards more than sweet Angel Keys ones. Little witch <3. “What was your question?” I asked. “If it’s not a secret.” “Teacher tells us all the time that the 6th grade is going to be much harder. I asked if this is true.” “Ah, I see. These PAST LIVES could mean past grades. It depends on the knowledge you acquired in the past grades, what the 6th grade is going to be like.” * When we are going to the next level in life,…

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