Anita’s Life Update #4: Duende

Published Categorised as Anita's Life Updates, Letters from Anita
Anita’s Life Update #4: Duende
  1. It’s always interesting for me to see from post to post, from month to month, how my mood is changing. A few months ago I was tired, but content. Then I was exhausted and anxious. Then I was tired but grateful. And in the last month I am excited, hopeful, focused and mostly energised, with the fire of inspiration burning even when I am tired.
  2. I have a bunch of ideas about the things I want to write about. Some I am excited to share with you, because I hope you will find them as insightful as I do, and some I just want to write about to keep them in my chronicles. So I can look back a few years from now and remember what was I going through.
  3. One of those things that I want to write about to keep them in my chronicles (and also to offer some relief to those who are in a similar situation), is my dog’s rehabilitation journey. He had a back surgery on 12th of November 2021, and he still cannot walk with his hind legs. But there is some progress, and we are committed to doing the work until all of his nerves heal, and he is back on his feet chasing rabbits in the field.
Piki in the field

4. Thanks to Piki and all the repetitive movements I was doing with carrying him around, I had to incorporate daily exercise in my daily life, so I that I am not destroying my body while taking care of his. Despite him being a small dog with less than 10 kg, repetitive movements + anxiety, tiredness and worry felt taxing on my body. Mindful exercise is of great benefit for me in this journey. I am feeling completely different now than I did while I wrote this post about (incredible!) massage.

5. I am preparing something that will hopefully be of service to you and a source of income for me, while allowing me to express my creativity and acquired knowledge and experience. I am preparing membership plans for this page! With exclusive content for members. Like inner work prompts, EFT tapping scripts and uncensored background stories, where I share the things I don’t feel comfortable sharing with the public, yet I feel they must be spoken about so that those who are going through similar struggles and are committed to healing journey can find the sense of relief and motivation to move forward.

6. I am so eager to finally start sharing with you more of my ACOA (adult children of alcoholics) journey and all the things I read, tried and found beneficial. Reading about this is not just for children of alcoholics, but also for children from other types of dysfunctional families (my short & simple definition of dysfunctional family is the family in which you do not feel safe being yourself). But I am also a bit nervous, because I am not sure how much you are interested in hearing about this and also some unhealed stuff will probably start coming from below the surface for me as well. Which is also good, so I can heal some more. I am already super grateful and proud of myself for how far I came in facing those issues. And that I started the process of unlinking my self-worth from the things I could do nothing about. There is so much more space and inner peace in my life now in those places that before felt tight because of all the guilt and shame I carried.

Please, let me know if you want to hear more about this.

7. The song I currently cannot get out of my head is Santé from Stromae. I enjoy music from this artist so much. The first word that came to my mind to describe his music is duende, a word I found in the book I am currently reading. My favourite sentence from Nick Cave explaining duende: The writer who refuses to explore the darker regions of the heart will never be able to write convincingly about the wonder, the magic and the joy of love for just as goodness cannot be trusted unless it has breathed the same air as evil. Stromae has this pain and sorrow mixed with joy and pure ecstasy of being alive in his songs. His music makes me jump out of joy and tear up at the same time. Ah, is it good to be a human with whole range of emotions.

Watch this (live!) performance, it is m-a-g-n-e-t-i-c.

With Love,

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By Anita Puksic

Human since 1990, blogger since 2007, researcher of human's depths, life coach, always learning, INFJ, human design projector, half woo woo, half science anita@anitapuksic.com

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