Fresh week is here. Hello, November.
I really enjoyed first of the November this year. Thanks to Covid, the movements in Slovenia are currently limited to municipalities. So no jumping from one cemetery to another. Also, there was no Christian mass on cemetery this year. Which makes me grateful, because I don’t really enjoy huge amounts of people at the same place, tons of cars and pretending to enjoy myself when I am actually hungry, cold and I want to be at home watching Netflix. Wait, but why did I attend those Christian masses on cemetery for 1st of November, when I could be at home watching Netflix with cacao in my hands? Because the other option was being at home and feeling guilty, because my mother is alone next to the grave of my father (plus grandmother and grandfather) and all the other grown up kids from relatives accompany their parents on that important day, but me and my brother are black sheep. Agh, I so did not mean to go into this, but damn, when I start to write, it feels like I cannot lie and all that I am keeping inside wants to come out.
But it relates to what am I currently up to.
1. This is something that I am currently digesting through my mental and emotional body:
It occurred to me in meditation last week, that most of my life I had to choose or was programmed to choose between two options. And usually none of them were completely good. So it was hard to choose and I really had to think it through and analyse pluses and minuses. And usually I would get stuck in the decision process. Unless I chose both options and tried my best to make everyone happy. Including me, hopefully.
But in that meditation I somehow saw this pattern from above and it really hit me that it was my modus operandi for most of my life to compare things and try my best to choose between them (and choose right!), yet that might not be the only way to live.
Which propels me to the next point of what am I currently up to.
2. This is something I somehow started realising 4 years ago, yet more or less forgot about it, and I am now continuing to work with it. This is my current and ongoing heart work:
Expanding my heart to love. I remember 4 or 5 years ago I was falling in love with other guys besides my partner. I was torn inside on what I should do. Should I leave my partner that I still love for something that could be something but maybe it is just a product of my imagination and result of the boredom that visits every long-term relationship? I was also wondering how is it possible, that I love one person, but I also seem to love someone else? Shouldn’t I love only one man, the one that I am with and that’s it? I was already thinking about poly-amorous relationships, but knowing myself well enough I know that would only make my life more complicated and I don’t want that (but I do admire everyone who is capable of managing that).
So I remember at that time I had a dog, but we also got a new cat and despite me being a dog person, she was so cute and she started winning my heart. And I felt like I am cheating on my dog when I started loving a cat too. Haha, I know this sounds bizarre… because it is. I realised through that example that is really funny, how we limit our capacity to love even when nobody asked us to. In my heart there is enough space to love dogs and cats. There is enough space in my heart to love my friends, even though they are all so unique and different, I don’t have to choose, I can be friends with all of them. There is enough space in my heart to love my partner and love other men as well (which does not mean I share my body with them, but damn, I love sharing my mind with humans of all shapes and forms, women and transgender included, ofc). There is enough space in my heart to love Trump and Biden. Oopps, what did I just say?! Well, you get the point. I am expanding my heart.
3. Now to more material things. Or actually, to less of the material things and more space.
I did not even now that fall cleaning is a thing, I was only aware of spring cleaning. But damn, I love cleaning. I love the cleaning habits I’ve created in the last years and I am upping my game big time this year (ahahaha, using that motivating business-fitness-entrepreneur-motivational-coaching language to talk about cleaning, it’s hillarious “Up your cleaning game, motherbeepers!! Do you want to reach the next level? Clean the dust from the top of your furniture, man!”)
Seriously, though. I am cleaning the dust from shelves every week (not only 4 times per year). It is incredible what a difference does that make for my well being. I also put away a bunch of the things from the shelves, so I can do my dust cleaning dance faster. And the space is breaaaathing. I have the feeling in it like you get when you look at those hygge pictures combined with the feeling of home office pictures. Work and chill combined.
4. Making myself a schedule for every week upfront.
With all the habits I want to develop and place to track them. Check check check. I love making checks in those little squares in my moleskine. ✔✔
For example, last week I was developing the habit of moving my neck every morning, rotating my head, so that I improve my circulation to my hair. I also did my Joe Dispenza Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself meditations twice a day, as I really wanted to shift some things inside myself. I was dancing everyday for 15 minutes. And bunch of other things as well. Everything on my schedule. Crazy productive week and also super fun one. (Btw, you should really join Scribd through my link and start listening to Joe Dispenza’s audiobooks for free for 2 months, you can thank me later)
5. God, I almost forgot, which is a really good sign in that case. I quit smoking cigarettes.
After 15 years of smoking, which is half of my life, I quit. I am a non-smoker for one week already. That was one of the reasons why I prepared myself a tight schedule last week with Joe Dispenza’s meditation, dancing, herbal teas (nettles tea has a lot of iron, which helps kidneys to let go of addictions easier, as kidneys crave addictive substances to level up energy fast when we don’t have enough of it due lack of iron).
I quit bunch of things this year. Last year I quit facebook and then instagram and that seemed like a big deal. This year I said goodbye to coffee for good. Good bye to sugar, gluten and cow dairy thanks to skin inflammation (here and there I eat something with those ingredients, but it is rare). Good bye to smoking weed (it makes me doubt where my inspiration comes from “Is it me or is it weed?” – I don’t like that).
And comparing to cigarettes, quitting none of those was a big deal. One day of a mild headache, knowing that I only have to survive one day and than I am okay, that mental fog will disappear away. But quitting cigarettes is some real work. A lot of mental training involved everyday, when I have to tell my body that we no longer smoke after every meal. After none of them. Telling my mind we no longer smoke, when we need to think. Telling my emotional body, we no longer smoke when we want to avoid feeling something.
But I am doing it, oh man! Le proud of myself! (I mean, after writing this post, I really need to practice what I preach.)
6. Checking my Coinbase account more regularly since I discovered the joy of my money growing on itself. I am thinking of selling my products in exchange for bitcoins as well when I will actually set up the store on this page and start filling it with products. Oh,and you can donate me some crypto 😉
And thinking of reading Tanja Aebischer’s books again and start discovering other investing opportunities, where I can start small.
7. Reminding myself that I don’t have to feel bad and guilty for having an awesome year.
Enough about me for today.
What are you currently up to?
With Love,
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