Hi there, lovely people.
I decided to write a letter for you, because I’ve been feeling a bit funky about my newsletter list for quite some time now. It’s not you, it’s me.
Nope, this isn’t a goodbye, don’t worry, I am going to keep writing and sending you messages, but I want to get few things off my chest, make a few announcements, share some things honestly, as I would with friends, with people I love, with people I want to keep on relating with.
As many of you know, I transitioned a few years ago from creating ecofriendly accessories to coaching. So many of you are with me since my artsy days (or even from my style blogging times, hehe). You had a chance to confirm that you still want to receive my emails after my transition. So, you are here on my list, because you want to be reading my emails.
But to be honest, I had troubles with transitioning myself. There were so many things I had to process about my previous business. Where I struggled in the business, were areas where I had blind spots due to my ubringing. And there were so many things, I didn’t know, because I didn’t know them. When I burned out, all the unresolved things from my subconscious started coming up, and they kept on coming, for years. And while I was transitioning, I also had some painful experiences with some people I trusted, and so I was questioning everything, my whole reality and I mostly retreated from public life, later on also fom social media.
So I also had troubles with creating success out of my coaching business, because I was a lot of times overwhelmed with all that I was processing and I wasn’t sure, if it is safe to help others in such state. I was asking myself, if I just trying to help myself through helping others and buying myself a sense of self-worth through being useful.
As a writer I felt so many times super emotional when writing and I felt like maybe it’s going to be too much for you as readers to take in, process. I felt like my emotions, my emotional charge, could be disturbing to other people. Like my sadness and anger can somehow smack you, my reader, in the face, even if you had nothing to do with it.
So there were so many things going on, and I felt conflicted.
⇾ All this emotional stuff was coming up and I wanted to write about it. Partially for my own healing and partially for healing of old or new readers, that might find themselves in my content.
⇾ At the same time I wanted to sell you my coaching services.
⇾ I also projected my family members on you, imagining that you are sick of me, feeling like you are feeling, that I am a spoiled kid, complaining for no reason.
⇾ When I transitioned into coaching few years ago, I was so excited about it and so freaking passionate (I am still super passionate about it), so I was sending a lot of emails and some subscribers didn’t like it (but a lot of you actually did). Those people unsubscribed, but I kept on feeling, that if I share with you everything I want to share, I will be annoying the hell out of you.
⇾ I started feeling as though many of you are on my list, because you don’t want to offend me with unsubscribing, as you’ve been following me for a long time (and you remember I used to be upset when someone unsubscribed :facepalm:)
⇾ Then, for some, I felt, might be on the list, because you pity me and want to help me or mentor me in some way.
⇾ And then some might be on the list because you are comparing yourself to me or are deeply annoyed with me and love torturing yourself, ahaha.
The point is, I didn’t feel connected to you. I felt like you are some leftover from my previous business that I don’t know what to do with. Almost like you would be common friends from my ex and I am not sure if I can show you the sides of me that you didn’t know while I was with my ex, or you would judge me for seemingly being out of integrity, because I was different back then or I am different now.
Haa.
But there are some things that are constant to me. In all the years I have known myself, I was both super fun person, but also super deep person. Those who get the chance to know the real me, know this. Deep, important conversations and doing silly, fun things, cracking jokes and dancing moves goes all together.
And I know that some of you keep on reading what I write for all these years, because you like my unique blend of light and dark and find it enjoyable in some way and/or you are getting some things for yourself out of it. I am happy you are on my list, on my side. And I am sorry for projecting my insecurities on you. I mean it.
So, I want you to know, that I will be writing more about adult children of alcoholics, as I am one myself, about my journey, I will share my advice for ACOA and adult children of emotionally immature parents in other ways. I will also offer you my coaching services. My posts will also be useful for you, if you are living, working or being friends with ACOA.
The type of clients I usually work with are creative people, who have big visions and are usually living in some way out of norm and I noticed during years that most of my clients also come from chaotic family background.
Last year, I started facing my heritage as ACOA on a whole new level and I realised this is kind of my coaching niche.
So, you can expect now tons of posts about this. I am so looking forward to connect with existing readers and new ones, as I embark on this journey. If you are not interested in reading about this, I encourage you to unsubscribe, there’s not gonna be any hard feelings about it from my side.
I will also soon add an option for you to receive my newsletter only once per month, so you will be able to see what you’ve missed and if something catches your interest.
I feel way better now, as I got all this out. Thank you for reading, I don’t take you for granted!
And please, let me know your thoughts, feelings, if there is anything you have to say to me.
Much much much love,
Anita
With Love,
