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I read somewhere that when you are ignoring her long enough, she stops speaking…

That her voice becomes quieter and quieter until you can hear her no more. That is not my experience. I am accustomed to ignoring her.

Her silly demands that I should go out there and live. How ridiculous. That I should share myself with others. That I should write regularly, start a podcast, make mistakes and not care.

Share the ugly stories. Share the beautiful ones. Share those sketches that express what I feel inside.

I ignore her, because I don’t want people to see me naked. I don’t want to expose myself. I don’t want them laughing at me. Asking “Who do you think you are? Why do you think somebody would care about what you have to say? Who would buy that?!”

And what if I do it anyway and nobody wants to look at me? I am just another fish in the sea, just another girl in the attention economy.

The tectonic changes I feel inside might not be even noticed in the outside world. There is a chance, that no lives will be changed. Except mine.

The Muse.

She is demanding. She promises and doesn’t always deliver.

She comes when you are trying to sleep. And you promise.
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow I will do it.
Tomorrow I will give you some time on my schedule, just let me sleep now.

You promise and you don’t deliver.

Life passes by and on the outside everything seems fine.

But there is a war on the inside.

Shit & Glory

OF BEING A CREATIVE HUMAN BEING

We want to express ourselves and show the world who we really are. And we also want our parents and mothers-in-law to love us.

We want to be bold, powerful, rich. And we don’t want to hurt anyone.

We want to be super successful. And we want people to be happy for us. We want them happy and with us.

We want to buy whatever we want. And we want clean rivers, oceans and reverse climate change.

Can we have it all?

No.

Yes and no.

Yes.

Some things have to go. Some things are out of our control. People get hurt, because it’s part of what humans do. Sometimes people we love are suffering and don’t want our help and we can’t do anything.

We don’t have control over what others choose to do with their life.

And yet,

we can have everything that really matters to us.

Or at least spend our life in the pursuit of it.
(There are long term goals that exceed your life span, aren’t they?)

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Here is what matters to me:

Work that I enjoy

There are people who have to work, to survive and they hate it. And there are people who have to work to survive and they love it. I do my best to be part of the second group. Even, if we don’t have to work to survive, most of us have to do something so that we feel like we contribute and that our lives are meaningful. Why not doing what you love and loving what you do?

“Having a handful of beings that I love and love me back.”

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“Connection with Nature, Soul, true Self.”

Consuming Beauty, Art, Science

Enjoying the delights of material world. From beauty of Nature to beauty of well composed Netflix shows, to delicious meals and awespiring wondering about wonders that we are and wonders we live in while reading about science, to losing myself in books. Losing and finding myself in the work of others.

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“Soulful deep shit conversations.”

I believe that part of meaningful life is doing the work you love to do, a work that you believe in.
I believe you can have love, health, money and deep quality of life.
I believe you can assess different areas of your life, see what is working, what is not and do more of what brings you joy, improve what is not working and delegate what is not your jam.
I believe you can have a love affair with your Muse/Soul, that is a win-win-win -> a win for you, win for people who benefit from your work and a win for people who might never hear of you or know that their life is a bit better because of you sharing your gifts and causing ripple effects.
I believe everyone deserves to do what they love, even if not everyone is going to end up the history books.

I believe in daily actions, compound effect and importance of having conversations with people who deeply listen, who understand you, whose faith you can borrow, when you feel like a failure and who see a worthy human in you no matter what.

I believe future belongs to those who are willing to be honest with themselves.

So, if you are being honest with yourself:

What really matters to you?

And are you willing to align your actions with your values?

Send your answer to anita@anitapuksic.com to claim an 1:1 coaching conversation with me where we will figure out your next steps to take.

(The tectonic changes you will feel inside might not be even noticed in the outside world at first. There is still a chance, that no lives will be changed. Except yours, if you are willing to show up for yourself.)

Blog

The space where I (over)share and admit more insecurities than it is professional.
I am a human and I sweat, bleed, shit, cry, laugh, love and write.