It’s here, it’s finally here!
My favourite tool for self-coaching
The Mental Fog Remover is top shit tool for self-coaching with which you will:
⇾ remove brain fog that is clouding you due to overwhelm with all the million worries you have
⇾ make space in your life for relaxation, fun and doing all the things you actually want to do (as opposed to just ones you think you should)
I believe that no matter where you are coming from, what is your story, what limitations you are facing, you have the ability to live a High Quality Life.
Yes, you can be a child of an addict (or otherwise emotionally immature parents), you may have gone (or keep on going) through some shit that made you feel like a complete failure and yet you are capable of creating a High Quality (addiction free) Life with fulfilling relationships and the work that you love.
Are you willing to listen to the muse inside you, that wants something better for you than your family of origin could even think of?
I read somewhere that when you are ignoring her long enough, she stops speaking…
That her voice becomes quieter and quieter until you can hear her no more. That is not my experience. I am accustomed to ignoring her.
Her silly demands that I should go out there and live. How ridiculous. That I should share myself with others. That I should write regularly, start a podcast, make mistakes and not care.
Share the ugly stories. Share the beautiful ones. Share those sketches that express what I feel inside.
I ignore her, because I don’t want people to see me naked. I don’t want to expose myself. I don’t want them laughing at me. Asking “Who do you think you are? Why do you think somebody would care about what you have to say? Who would buy that?!”
And what if I do it anyway and nobody wants to look at me? I am just another fish in the sea, just another girl in the attention economy.
I am accustomed to ignoring her. Looking for excuses. But she keeps on talking. She says it is important.
The tectonic changes I feel inside might not be even noticed in the outside world. There is a chance, that no lives will be changed. Except mine.
She is demanding. She promises and doesn’t always deliver.
She comes when you are trying to sleep. And you promise.
Tomorrow I will do it.
Tomorrow I will give you some time on my schedule, just let me sleep now.
You promise and you don’t deliver.
Life passes by and on the outside everything seems fine.
But there is a war on the inside.
Shit & Glory of being a Creative Human Being
We want to express ourselves and show the world who we really are. And we also want our parents and mothers-in-law to love us.
We want to be bold, powerful, rich. And we don’t want to hurt anyone.
We want to be super successful. And we want people to be happy for us. We want them happy and with us.
We want to buy whatever we want. And we want clean rivers, oceans and reverse climate change.
And sometimes it feels like everything is blowing up in our face.
“My misty background that is a mix of idyllic and traumatic, highly confusing while clear and obvious at the same time, totally unique and so by-the-book, with characters that are colourful even in their shades of grey and deep even in their shallowness, that background propelled me to become deeply passionate about human nature. I research human beings through being a human. I research psychology through seeing actual WTF things in my own psyche and wanting to explain them. ” ⇾ Read more of my story
What you need to know about me?
I used to run a business with hand crafted eco friendly accessories (a lot of super dope tote bags).
When I finally reached the point where my business supported me and paid off tons of debt, I burned out.
I felt betrayed by my muse.
And I felt stupid for “following my dreams”.
It took me years to realise what really happened to me.
Why I crashed down?
Not because I didn’t love my work. Not because of overworking (even though I probably was). I loved my work, I loved my customers.
The shit blew up in my face, because underneath my happy-go-lucky personality there was emotional turmoil. I was ridden by feelings of shame and guilt and in relationships I felt 200% responsible for what was happening.
Don’t get me wrong. I was doing my best to be P O S I T I V E. I loved reading about spirituality, I was meditating, I was using different self-help techniques and I was definitely using LOA to my advantage many times.
But underneath this was a lifetime of compounded trauma, because of which I was looking at myself with a very distorted lens. And that distorted lens through which I was looking at myself, dictated my inner self talk, my emotions, my behaviours, my feelings of unworthiness. It also caused me to understand some spiritual principles I was reading about in a way that were actually harmful for me.
So, what do I think now about the statement that almost everyone in the LOA and coaching industry tries to convince you of?
Can we have it all?
Yes and no.
Some things have to go.
Some things are out of our control.
We will get hurt, because it’s part of what us humans do.
Sometimes people we love are suffering and don’t want our help and we can’t do anything.
We don’t have control over what others choose to do with their life.
We can have everything that really matters to us.
Or at least spend our life in the pursuit of it…
(You have long term goals that exceed your life span, don’t you?)
Here is what matters to me:
Work that I enjoy
There are people who have to work, to survive and they hate it. And there are people who have to work to survive and they love it. I do my best to be part of the second group. Even, if we don’t have to work to survive, most of us have to do something so that we feel like we contribute and that our lives are meaningful. Why not doing what you love and loving what you do?
Consuming Beauty, Art, Science
Enjoying the delights of the material world. From beauty of Nature to beauty of well composed Netflix shows. From chewing delicious meals to chewing on science articles. Awespiring wondering about wonders that we are and wonders we live in.
Losing and finding myself in the Work of others.
“Soulful deep shit conversations.”
I believe that part of meaningful life is doing the work you love to do, a work that you believe in.
I believe you can have love, health, money and deep quality of life.
I believe you can assess different areas of your life, see what is working, what is not, improve what is not working, do more of what brings you joy, and delegate what is not your jam.
I believe you can have a love affair with your Muse/Soul, that is a win-win-win -> a win for you, win for people who benefit from your work and a win for people who might never hear of you or know that their life is a bit better because of you sharing your gifts and causing ripple effects.
I believe everyone deserves to do what they love, even if not everyone is going to end up the history books.
I believe in daily actions, compound effect and importance of having conversations with people who deeply listen, who understand you, whose faith you can borrow, when you feel like a failure and who see a worthy human in you no matter what.
I believe the future belongs to those who are willing to be honest with themselves.
So, if you are being honest with yourself:
The space where I (over)share and admit more insecurities than it is professional.
I am a human and I sweat, bleed, shit, cry, laugh, love and write.