I am glad you are here.

If you know me already and you are searching for my old blog posts, you can find them in archive here. 

This webpage is a fresh start for me after about 12 or 13 years of blogging with some breaks in between. 

I wanted to make this page all perfect, looking polished and I wanted to give an appearance of professional looking business savvy person.  

That shit took a lot of time and thinking, crafting blog posts and pages, questioning myself, editing myself, censoring myself… I wanted it to be perfect, so that people who come to my site take me seriously, you know. 

I was almost ready to make the page public about a month and a half ago, when I got really sick, like I haven’t been in my life so far. I had serious skin inflammation on my face and I looked like a devil. I was ashamed to show my face to anybody. 

I will probably write a proper and very long post about this in the future, because the experience was healing on so many levels, but for the purpose of the introduction here, let me just say, that it was really interesting that the disease showed up at that time. 

I was afraid to show my face to the public again after a long break from expressing myself in the online world, and I got the inflammation, where I was actually afraid to show my face to the people in real life (not that the online life isn’t real, despite all the pretending and masks we wear), because I did not want them to get scared of me. I really was looking like a monster. 

However, once I went out for a walk with that scary looking face, I saw so many different reactions from people that I finally realised in my body what I knew in my mind. That people’s reactions when they see me / read me / talk with me, tell more about them than about me. 

And so I finally realised, that it does not matter to me anymore, if my website looks perfect. What matters to me is that I share my thoughts with the world. 

 

If you don’t know me yet, 

I am glad you are here. 

My name is Anita and I love honest conversations. 

 

(published on 17th of August 2020)