As a child I sometimes felt like a ping pong ball between my mother and father.

They didn’t want to talk with each other sometimes, so I went from one to another and told what the other one say and ask if it’s true.

And I would repeat it countless times to figure out what is the truth.

At times I would conclude that they are both idiots, haha, overcomplicating things, when actually what we all wanted was to be loved and do things together.

At times I felt like a victim because of these circumstances in my life and I am not denying they affected me and shaped me as a person.

But today I feel grateful for this. Because when I see two opposing sides fighting each other I can see both through the eyes of love and worthy of my love, even when I don’t agree with them (not that I am perfect, but every time I practice I get better at it).

ANTIPERSONAL BRAND

She is a (anti)personal brand. When she dies, she won’t be able to enjoy her legacy that’s why she does not care much about it now. She wants a life well lived. Maybe this could be a legacy? Well, fuck it, she is sick of listening about personal branding, niching, legacy, authority, so she will stop thinking about these things.

Otherwise she is holding the space for the planet of peace and freedom. And humans beings being human beings to human beings.

Her career started when she was born. She didn’t cry a lot because she was mostly observing this strange world she was put in. She is still super good at observing. But she cries way more.

After studying fashion design she got sick of fashion, mindless consumerism and new riches (and wannabes) buying status symbols to show off. She got even more sick of fast fashion and its effect on the world. Disgusting. She still buys two pairs of cheap shoes per year. Not hippie enough to walk barefoot all the time. Otherwise she wears secondhand and vintage clothes.

She gave up her philosophy studies, left the university and disappointed her mother all in the attempt to study life directly through living it. If she would continue her studies, she would be the top student in the class, as always. She went to spiritual university instead where she learned about microcosmos and macrocosmos and often fell asleep during the meditation.

Fashion called her back. She started a brand of eco-friendly accessories called 3 Ptice in 2012 with zero support from family. Okay, she got roof over the head, but no emotional support. In fact, everybody was saying to her that she won’t make it with this and expected from her to always be available for their requests, because she is working from home, after all.

Well sooner or later she started sending her accessories from little village in little Slovenia all over the world. Thanks to all the amazing customers who enjoy quality, uniqueness and don’t just chase status symbols.
After countless failures she started actually living from her little business, paid most of her debts, had a lot of fun, spent lots of time on the road and hell lot of a time behind the sewing machine listening to countless hours of TED talks, lectures on psychology, human mind, philosophy, business, mindset, spirituality etc.

Oh, she also moved her studio to Fürstova Hiša, a place in the nearest tiny town called Ptuj, where she enjoyed the company of other starving artists trying to serve the citizens who come to exhibitions mostly to dress up a bit and drink free wine (she likes free wine too).
She was organising markets with handmade and secondhand goods there.

She was occasionally taking on other jobs like selling books and working in production. She really enjoyed quitting both of those. However, bosses still wanted her back because she is a really good worker until she starts to feel that she is losing her life and mind capacity for mediocrity.
Oh, she also enjoyed working for Art Stays Festival of Contemporary Art where she did all kinds of stuff and had lots of fun. She kinda likes art that she doesn’t get.

Year 2016. Everything went well, she finally moved away from her mama, meant to hire an assistant to focus more of her time on writing (oh, she started her blogging career in 2007 pretending she is Carrie from Sex and The City).
And then she burned out.
She couldn’t work anymore. Well, she could if she could but couldn’t get herself to it. She was sleeping for 13 hours and staring to the ceiling.
She hated herself for being such a lazy bitch. She lived in guilt, shame and hiding.
When she wasn’t sleeping or forcing herself to do at least enough of sales to buy food, she tried everything to put herself back together.
She realised she is insane.

If she would be American she would call this time of her life spiritual awakening and made lots of money out of it. She’s working on it.

She saw Dark Goddess, she smelled the devil, she had prophetic dreams, she enjoyed the kingdom of heaven within for hours, she had episodes of being super clairvoyant, she saw the promise of divine feminine and masculine coming together in the sky and creating the new earth. Kundalini experiences, yeah, not her favourite thing in the world but still kinda fun hanging out with Ganesh and Buddha while light is flashing through your body and it feels like you are going to die.

She came in touch with coaching and realised this is her dream career. She could finally be paid for what she was doing for free all these years (people almost always pay her a drink because she is somebody that really listens to them, understands them and gives them life-changing feedback). Because she is born with it. She got into every course she could or couldn’t afford to learn even more. Still does. She is happy that what she loves and is naturally good at and cannot stop learning and researching about is now her career.

And she learned that she is not meant to work hard, but is here to provide people with guidance. If they ask her. Thanks Human Design. She always knew that but thought she is crazy, because everybody was preaching hard work to her.

She wrote this on her behalf, speaking about herself in 3rd person like narcissists do (even though she kinda doesn’t believe in narcissism) and she is going to stop now because she is starting to think how to thread in how freaking amazing and high evolved she is and how you must work with her in order to have more fun in life).

She is brutally honest (she reads you) and also one of the kindest and the most sunshiny person ever (she sees the best version of you). Both of these qualities make most people uncomfortable, but those who are willing to live on a whole new level will pay her big bucks to have a chance to speak with her. Can I get an amen? A men! Btw, she works with men and women and transgender.

Message her.
Anita Pukšič