Another 10 things about me

I found this post in my drafts. Decided to post it now.

10 THINGS ABOUT ME 1. I always change and always stay the same. 2. I can appear very self assured, yet I am always questioning myself. 3. I have love hate relationship with social media. 4. I am a pretty great listener, but sometimes I have to tell people to shut the fuck up already, because I have something to say too. And then I forget what I had to say, because I am surprised at myself that I actually told them to stfu. 5. Oh, yes, I sometimes appear stupid and like I have no idea what is going on, because I am quiet and I listen, but I am already one step ahead. 6. Sometimes I am so ahead I need to catch myself. 7. I was raised in a way that when I am good and do good, it’s normal, deserves no praise, but when I do something wrong, I will for sure hear about it. And I often do something wrong in eyes of others. That’s why I am super afraid of critics and I often hold myself back so that I avoid being criticised. Getting over this though. 8. I feel the most me when I am in nature, around the water or in water, when I write or when I have deep shit conversations with people. And when I paint on @3ptice bags with my headphones on (mostly I listen to @katloterzo or @drlovegrove) 9. Most of the things I wear are secondhand or vintage or bought years ago. I inspired bunch of people to start wearing secondhand. I am proud of myself for that. 10. I am pretty commited. I started blogging 10 years ago. I still have the same blog, just domain name changed a few times (link in bio). I am together with my man for 10 years. I am vegetarian for 13,5 years. I run my brand 3 Ptice for almost 5 years. I have a bunch of beautiful long term friendships. Bonus point: It’s easy for me to believe in dreams of others, even so much that they achieve great results thanks to me believing in them and already seeing them on that level. Sometimes I need somebody to believe so much in me, instead of pointing out all that is wrong with me. Maybe I just need to stop doing this to myself. For sure. Another bonus point: when I start writing, I almost cannot stop. You can get to know me better through my blog and through my work. 3ptice.com

A post shared by Anita Pukšič – 3 Ptice (@anitapuksic) on Aug 18, 2017 at 9:58am PDT

So, I posted 10 things about me on the instagram yesterday, and damn, it feels fucking good to talk about myself. I mean write. You know why it’s so good to write about myself? Because no one interrupts me, ahahaha.

So I thought I would write another 10 things about me now. And I’m gonna be so fucking honest and I’m gonna drop the need to be super smart. I mean, I am super smart already.

1. I am currently drinking beer called Staropramen. I drank only one now and got intense urge to write. And there’s an episode of Game of Thrones waiting for me (btw, I am behind on it, so I have 4 episodes to watch – I know you are jealous), but no, I want to write. Now I understand all of the alcoholic writers and poets.
2. I am in the super funk for last month and a half. That fucking new moon and solar eclipse and shit. Fuck. It’s this way: I get up. I get myself back to me. I loose me. I get myself back to me and back to work. I loose me. It’s like a constant fight with myself that also shows up in the outer world.
3. I’m not sure I’m gonna post this.
4. In the last year, I get from everywhere, that I am a leader. Mentors, astrology, tests. And I am like “who, me?”. Yet I somehow know this is true, but man, this is scary to me. The world leader reminds me so much of the word Führer. Oh, Hitler, you are here again, you always love to show up, bitch!
5. By this famous personality test, I am INFJ. Which means I am a type of personality that is the most rare. And that I can understand almost everybody, but not everybody can understand me. Like my blood type. I can give my blood almost to everybody, but only the same blood type can give it to me. That’s why when people understand me, I am like “Omg, I love you!” Some even said that this isn’t even a personality type, but it’s dysfuckingfunction. That kids who were normal, but got pushed down from people around them, become INFJ. Super sensitive, aware of other people’s needs, not knowing who the fuck they are – it’s not easy for us to be ourselves, when we are everything -> what to pick? -> who am I in this moment?. Famous people who were INFJ-s? Damn, I am in a great company. Plato, Dante, Jung (I always knew we had a connection going on), Gandhi, Noam Chomsky, Tolstoj, Dostojevski, that famous fella Jesus… and… and… and… bin Laden, Trotsky and… of course, Hitler, here you are again, bitch. Why are only men here? Oh, Tilda Swinton is also INFJ.
6. That’s why I am afraid of myself. Afraid of my power. Holding myself back. I am an idealist, total idealist. And ideas can be dangerous. I am afraid that I could convince people to follow me and screw it all up. Or had something beautiful in mind like Jesus, then die on the cross because of stupid sacrifice for humanity. And then some bastards would kill even more people, when trying to spread the message of love.
7. Shit gets biblical quite often in my head. It’s not like I believe in those stories to be true, but the principles are so true. I know the Lord of the Rings is also not a true story (ahahaha), yet when you get those metaphors, man, those principles are also true.
8. I spent a lot of time thinking how to organise my time in a best way and meanwhile a lot of time passes and I get anxious.
9. Believe it or not through the tone of this post, I am actually a very shiny, fun and kind person. People always ask me, how is it that I am always in such a good mood. It’s because I hide when I am not. Who could stand me when even I can stand myself? So it’s better to just sit or lay down. And I can be very bitchy.
10. I like being alone. Having enough time for walking, writing, cooking, working… and then I can be the soul of the party… If there’s gonna be just two or three of us, having deep conversations.
11. Bonus point: I make fun of myself a lot. That’s why I am still alive.

 

Your human AF,

Anita
This is what I do for living, besides living: selling my hand painted tote bags on Etsy.